Parenting is a tricky business, and comes with no user manual on how to raise children the right way. Each child is different and there is no one-size-fits-all formula to ensure they grow up into mature, empathetic, and balanced individuals. Still, there are certain guidelines, and in this VUCA (volatile, uncertain, complex, and ambiguous) world that we live in, parents will be wise to pay them heed.
The first thing is to understand the times we are living in. For example, today there is undue importance given to competition over cooperation. The system rewards winners. The sense of competition is so acute that it extends even to possessions like iPhones and backpacks. If your neighbour’s child has the latest version, your child will relentlessly nag you for an upgrade. “There is a need to shift focus away from competition to cooperation, as life needs to be viewed as a marathon, where the primary competition is with oneself, rather than against others in a sprint-like race,” write veteran educators V. Raghunathan and Meena Raghunathan in their latest book, To Every Parent, To Every School – Raising Resilient Children in a VUCA world.
The authors are extremely qualified to write on this topic. V. Raghunathan is a prolific author and columnist who has written 15 books and was a professor of finance at IIM Ahmedabad for 20 years before taking over as the CEO of GMR Varalakshmi Foundation. Meena Raghunathan worked at the Centre for Environment Education for two decades, where she was involved in developing teacher material, children’s books and curriculum support material and policy documents related to education. Their vast experience in the field of education is reflected in the book, which gives insights and action points for parents, teachers, and schools to help prepare children for the various challenges they will inevitably face in life.
The authors highlight certain missing links in the field of education. For example, the concept of emotional quotient and leadership, which is considered important in the corporate world, is overlooked in our education system, despite research showing their indispensability as early as the 1980s. One of the large-scale studies was conducted in 1998 by Johnson & Johnson’s Consumer Companies (JJCC), which paved the way for emotional intelligence and leadership being included in corporate thinking. The same does not happen with education, which has a longer reaction time to changes, note the authors.
In the book’s 12 chapters, the authors discuss crucial challenges and strategies that can help the education system to make a smooth transition from a mere cognitive learning environment to one that empowers individuals to learn from errors and setbacks. According to the authors, the handicaps of our current education system are many, which fosters an environment ripe for bullying, stress, and suicide and child sexual abuse. They point out that India has the highest suicide rate among youth in Southeast Asia according to the WHO, with almost 2.5 lakh children aged 14 to 18 committing suicides between 2017 and 2019 in India.
“Research indicates that education-related stress can shrink academic achievement, shrivel general motivation and raise the risk of school dropout,” say the Raghunathans, emphasising the importance of concepts like Adversity Quotient – or the ability of an individual to think, manage, direct, and endure challenges and difficulties in life. There are certain things parents can do to promote this – like taking children out of their comfort zones and involving them in activities like trekking, camping, or volunteering.
The book is peppered with real-life examples and success stories, like that of P.C. Musthafa, the son of a daily wager who overcame many adversities to eventually become an engineer and found a Rs300-crore revenue company – ID Fresh Food India Pvt Ltd. It is paramount that children pursue education against all odds, write the Raghunathans.
Also important is inculcating resilience in children, which impacts their lifelong development. Resilient adults exhibit a greater degree of insight, sense of humour, creativity, and moral values, suggest studies. The spirit of never giving up can be instilled in children through real-life stories like that of former national volleyball player Arunima Sinha, who lost her leg after being pushed out of a moving train, but went on to scale Mount Everest with a prosthetic leg, write the authors. According to them, understanding ‘risk’ as a part of every aspect of life early on will help children deal with it better, rather than acknowledging it through trials and tribulations later in life.
Also important is mainstreaming the discourse on child sexual abuse. The global percentage of child sexual abuse is 20 per cent for girls and 8 per cent for boys. The risk of sexual predation cannot be overlooked and India is the sixth most unsafe country for children. “Parents should be vigilant of potential predators and minimise the risk of CSA though we cannot completely raise our children to grow mistrustful of all humanity. Troubled homes attract predators in the form of sympathisers, who promise affection, stability and security and may exploit the child. Lonely children with low self-worth fall prey to predators….,” warn the authors.
Another issue that the book deals with is bullying, citing the experiences of celebrities like Priyanka Chopra Jonas, Jessica Alba, Miley Cyrus, Elon Musk, Michael Phelps, and Muhammad Ali. In an age where academic grades are placed higher than any other accomplishment in life, schools should provide space for hobbies for young people, as they do in countries like Finland, which has one of the best educational systems in the world. Hobbies make people interesting and give an extra dimension to their personality, feel the Raghunathans.
Ultimately, children must be able to adapt to changing realities, because the world which they have inherited is utterly unlike the one in which we grew up, with its own set of challenges, threats, and advantages.
BOOK DETAILS
To Every Parent, To Every School – Raising Resilient Children in a VUCA world
By V Raghunathan and Meena Raghunathan
Published by Penguin Random House India
Price Rs 699; pages 353
