With the vibrant festival season in India in full fervour, a survey by online dating giant Bumble hints that not only love but equality is in the air. According to Bumble, 90 per cent of Indians surveyed say that it’s important for their partners to contribute equally during festival season planning.
With Diwali approaching, India is set to celebrate the festival of colourful rangolis, vibrant garlands, and diya-lit homes. The latest trends in dating and companionship suggest that romance is not just in well-thought-out actions, gifts, or grand gestures but in active collaboration. Women have traditionally spearheaded festive planning in the country. But with evolving times where both partners are now equal stakeholders, more couples embrace sharing responsibilities.
However, it is not always that simple, according to Dr Ritika Mahajan, assistant professor at Malaviya National Institute of Technology (MNIT), Jaipur. “I feel that a partner who enjoys planning should do it, be it a man or a woman,” she told THE WEEK.
“In a patriarchal setup, festive planning usually falls upon the woman,” said Mahajan, who is a faculty at the NIT in Rajasthan, underlying the need for clear communication. “As a woman, if you do not enjoy it, stop doing it for validation! One may communicate this to one’s partner—either give it up or share the load!”
She also added how men are usually good at planning events, hinting that they might do better than festival planners. “Men perform extraordinarily well when it comes to organizing office or outdoor events; maybe, the women need to lose a bit of control at home for men to contribute,” she added.
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As a beacon of better times for equality, there is now an increased call for seeing duties and chores as gender-neutral across professions. “It’s a common thing we observe in many households during such special festivals. Some men step into the kitchen or do some chores and behave as if it is a special thing that demands appreciation,” opined Jewel Mary, actress and television presenter. She also implored as to why men have to be appreciated for the same duties that most women perform in households every day. “The concept of a ‘man’ doing a ‘woman’s duty’ has to change,’ she added.
Lighting the diya of equality
India’s urban population, with double-income nuclear families, are of the opinion that planning for festivals not only adds to the festive spirit but also strengthens relationships. Cooking, cleaning, decorating the house, and shopping for groceries together increase the time spent with one another, with holidays like Diwali providing a much-needed respite from a demanding corporate culture.
“Bumble’s research shows that for 1 in 2 Indians, equality in managing festive tasks is a green flag. This can be decorating, planning gatherings, or shopping—because it fosters stronger connections,” said the dating app’s senior marketing manager for APAC, Pracheta Mazumdar.
Others also highlighted how sharing the mental load made life easier for everyone. “If both partners are prepared, there is less mental and physical stress. Also, last-minute financial hurdles can be avoided,” Dr Gautham N, a professional in forensic medicine, chimed in.
The doctor, who is father to a two-year old, highlighted the importance of sharing responsibilities between both parents. “Managing a baby during festivals is taxing” for one partner alone, he added, recounting his experience during the festival of Onam last month. “During Onam, we went for a road trip with the baby. With careful planning between my wife and I, we avoided starvation as most eateries were closed,” he said.
Such experiences and the dating survey by Bumble reveal an increasing shift in attitudes towards festival planning, especially among partners. With India celebrating numerous festivals, such a change represents a positive step towards a more inclusive and balanced society. For, the true spirit of celebration often lies not in the festivities themselves, but in a shared journey by partners. Let this Diwali add more resolve to this wonderful change.