In the ongoing season of 'I’m a Celebrity...Get Me Out of Here!' English singer-songwriter Tulisa Contostavlos revealed that she is a ‘demisexual.’ The 36-year-old claimed that she mostly avoids dating apps and has never been out on an actual date.
“I feel like I’m demisexual, I need to have a really close emotional bond with someone … I need actual depth. I’m a slow, slow burner. I’ve been celibate for over three years,” Tulisa said.
ALSO READ | Are you symbiosexual? Emerging sexual identity is taking internet by storm
Who is a demisexual? Well, if you think they fall into the bracket if LGBTQ+, you are mistaken. A demisexual individual can be gay or heterosexual! Read ahead if you want to find out more.
What is demisexuality?
“I’m not an overly sexualised person... For me, it’s all about the connection and the emotions that I feel with someone and then wanting to express them in that way,” Tulisa told a fellow 'I’m a Celebrity...Get Me Out of Here!' contestant as the discussion progressed. In a nutshell, these words are a perfect way to summarise demisexuality.
ClevelandClinic official website defines 'Demisexuality' as "a sexual orientation in which a person feels sexually attracted to someone only after they’ve developed a close emotional bond with them." However, forming a bond doesn’t guarantee sexual feelings, but such a bond is a must before sexual activity becomes possible with/for a demisexual, the website adds.
The term is believed to have been coined in 2006 on a web forum devoted to asexuality. Demisexuality refers to the degree of attraction that a particular person experiences toward others. They are not bound by gender identities. You can be a heterosexual and demisexual or homosexual and demisexual, among other possibilities.
Compared to the regular population, demisexuals rarely feel sexual attraction. Under no circumstances will demisexuals have sexual feelings for a person they have just met. And even "if they do develop a sexual attraction, the desire for sexual activity is often less intense," the ClevelandClinic article said.
But isn't that the aspect of asexual people?
Demisexuals fall under the "Asexual Spectrum" as they are closer to the bunch than the allosexual lot. While people who experience a complete lack of sexual attraction to others are called asexuals, demisexual people show partial attraction.
Are graysexual and demisexual people the same?
No. People who identify as graysexual feel sexual attraction infrequently. The difference between demisexuality and gray sexuality is people who are graysexual don’t need an emotional bond to feel sexual attraction like demisexuals do, ClevelandClinic points out.
ALSO READ | Sexual well-being products are going up, up and away this Men’s Day
Growing up, they may feel different from their peers for a lack of interest in sexual activities. They may doubt themselves for a lack of interest in the opposite sex, leading to mental pressure and anxiety. So, the demisexual label helps in giving such individuals an identity and spot others like them. This community belonging reassures them that they are not alone in society.
