As mothers, we're constantly bombarded with messages telling us what we should be doing, how we should be parenting, and what we're doing wrong. It's no wonder that mom guilt has become an epidemic, leaving us feeling anxious, uncertain, and like we're just not good enough.
But here's the thing: Mom guilt is not only unnecessary, but it's also holding us back from being the best mothers. It's time to break free from the cycle of guilt and shame, and instead, learn to trust ourselves and our choices.
The root of mom guilt
Mom's guilt often stems from our deep-seated desire to be perfect parents. We want to give our children the best possible start in life, and we're willing to sacrifice our own needs and desires to make that happen. But the problem is, that perfection is unattainable, and the pursuit of it is exhausting.
When I became a mom for the first time. It was extremely overwhelming. It was new to me and I did not know what to expect. And still, the world was expecting me to be the perfect mother, homemaker and lady of the house. My little girl was my priority. I was feeling so anxious that I was not being good enough.
Comparing was another reason for anxiousness. We're constantly comparing ourselves to other mothers, whether it's through social media, playdates, or mom groups. We see the highlight reels of other families' lives and assume that they're doing everything better than we are. But the truth is, every mother is struggling in her own way, and comparisons only lead to feelings of inadequacy.
Embracing your choices and priorities
So, how do we break free from mom guilt and start embracing our choices and priorities? Even I struggled with that and this is how I tried to embrace my choices:
1. Let go of perfection: Recognise that you're not going to be perfect, and that's okay. Your children will survive (and even thrive) despite your imperfections.
2. Identify your priorities: What's most important to you as a mother? Is it spending quality time with your children, pursuing your career, or taking care of your own physical and mental health? Whatever it is, prioritise it and don't apologise for it.
3. Practice self-compassion: Be kind to yourself, just as you would to a friend. Remember that you're doing the best you can, and that's something to be proud of.
4. Seek support: Surround yourself with other mothers who support and encourage you. Share your struggles and successes with them, and celebrate each other's wins.
Mom's guilt is a heavy burden to carry, but it's not one that we have to bear. By letting go of perfection, identifying our priorities, practising self-compassion, and seeking support, we can start to break free from the cycle of guilt and shame.
Remember, being a good mother isn't about being perfect; it's about being present, loving, and authentic. So, take a deep breath, let go of the guilt, and start embracing your choices and priorities as a mother. You got this!