At 34, Arif is thin and just over five feet. “I should be broad and taller,'' he says as he stands outside his home: Less than six feet makeshift partition between two blankets in a Rohingya camp in Delhi.
“I remain stunted because of fear. It lodged itself in my heart pressing down on me so that I could never grow. To be tall, your heart must know happiness,'' he says.
The fear defines Arif's life. He fled Myanmar—crossing rivers and walking—to move to India in 2012 and learnt to tame or tone the fear down. It is still a constant companion creeping upon him when he least suspects. But for the past nine years, he could keep it at bay, until this morning.
At around 8am on Wednesday, a family was taken away by authorities.
“We don't know where or why,'' says Maryam (name changed), another resident at the Madanpur Khadar Colony, near Sarita Vihar. The family that disappeared lived down her lane and their absence looms large in this settlement of 370 people. It makes its presence felt in the chatter of children who play nearby.
"They were grown-up, grown up,'' says Raju, a little boy who sits with his books. Maryam, remembers looking outside to see them being taken away. “I was making food in the morning. My mother is so scared she is in shock,'' she says.
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In the past few months, there has been a renewed drive to "verify" the documents of the Rohingyas. The fear that they will be sent back is palpable. On March 6 in Jammu, 168 Rohingyas, according to news reports, were detained; allegedly chosen at random and asked to provide verification details.
On March 11, 71 Rohingyas—according to news reports—were detained by Delhi police for protesting the detention in Jammu outside the UNHRC building. The police have reportedly put them in a holding centre and have asked the ministry of external affairs to contact the Mynamar government to verify their identity to have them deported.
At a time when the junta is brutally crushing protests, and with India's commitment to send back those who flee, a family being taken away by the police has spread panic in the colony. The March 26 order by the special secretary (Home) Manipur Gyan Prakash has also fuelled the panic. In a circular which came into the public domain and that has since been revoked, Prakash directed district commissioners to “politely turn away'' those who try and enter India.
“District administration should not open any camps to provide food and shelter. The civil society organisations should also not be allowed to open any camps to provide shelter/food,” according to the circular, which came into the public domain.
A public outcry forced the government to soften the stance, with Prakash being quoted as saying that “the state government has been taking all humanitarian steps and had recently taken all steps, including taking them to Imphal, to treat the injured Myanmar nationals.''
But, this reprieve might not be for long. And for the Rohingyas—with no Indian papers—the fear is that it is only a matter of time.
"I haven't slept all night," says Arif. "I have fled persecution to finally know love and a life in India," he says.