What difference do you feel in your fitness level, from the time you started training till now?
When I started, I couldn't believe I would get to the stage where I am today. The body used to hurt so much.... Building every muscle in the body took a lot of work and patience; and it was tough on the body. There were times when I just wanted to go back home. The body used to hurt a lot, and I would wake up at night. Anyway, I had issues while sleeping [laughs]. I kept the faith. The will, passion and love for the game has brought me back. The wishes and prayers I have got from the people have been amazing.
How was your first training session?
It was okay. I didn't do much. When I started exercising, my body used to tremble a lot. After training I used to go back to my hotel. I would get into the lift; I was going somewhere and my body was going somewhere else. I was very weak.
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Initially, there was not much workload. There was core strengthening, lot of Pilates, body weights.... When the body became a little stronger, I started to do a bit of weight training. Then I started to bat. Every time I ran, it felt like I was running on fire. My calves used to hurt so much that after one round I would stop. The lung capacity had gone down a lot. I had to put a lot of work on aerobics: shuttle training, running between wickets, long distance striding...
But surely this would have been nothing compared with the pain you went through in the last one and a half years.
It's been like one journey—the World Cup, being diagnosed with cancer, treatment, coming back and training, playing my first game for India. It's been a hell of a journey, but an amazing one.
The coaches and physios are raving about how focused you have been in training.
I have to be. My body is not in its 20s anymore. I will be 31 in a couple of
months. I have to work extra hours. If I hadn't come to the NCA [National Cricket Academy], I would not have made it to the T20 World Cup. The NCA staff put in a lot of effort. They made sure there were 3-4 guys watching me for six hours every day—what I'm doing, what's been my input, how I have improved.
How did you find a balance between rushing in and not overdoing things in training?
Only my family and I know what my body has gone through. There were times when I said I am not sure I would play again. I was happy that I had got my life back. I was able to eat like a normal guy, sit with my friends, eat all the food I wanted to. For a year and a half, I had struggled to eat what I wanted to... I was just happy to come back to life. One day, when I stood on the weighing machine, it said, 'you are 13kg extra'.
That was kind of a ringing bell; but, actually, I needed to get overweight because my body needed that food and nutrients. All my muscles had turned into fat. That was a reason for me putting on a lot of weight. As soon as my body started to respond, I picked up quickly.
Were the trainers and physios surprised by the way you responded?
They had faith in me. I have been very committed to my work for the last two months. Initially, we had a plan of being ready a week before [the tournament], but I was ready two weeks in advance.
Wasn't T20 the toughest format to make a comeback?
No. T20 is the shortest form of the game, you need more fitness for an ODI or a Test match. In T20s, you've got to hit sixes and fours, bowl four overs, field for 20 overs. It's tough, but not as tough as a 50-over game or Test match.
What was your first net session like?
The ball was going somewhere, I was going somewhere else. My feet weren't moving, my back was so weak I couldn't go to the ball. I was scared to go to the nets the following day.
How was it after the sessions?
I used to go lie down in my bed. I had to get up and go for a pool session and my body would say, 'don't get up, just sleep'.
How did you manage to do it?
I have been a tough guy when the times have been really tough. And that's the reason I am able to do what I do. If I had let it go, it would have been disappointing for me, my family and friends. Every person I meet asks me 'how is your health', 'when are you getting back onto the field?' It would have been a huge disappointment to people out there.
Was it about being ready when you thought or when others thought you ought to be ready?
If it was a 50-over World Cup, I wouldn't have played. I would have said I was not ready. I am lucky that T20 World Cup came in. It's a good build-up for me to play ODIs and eventually Test matches. In November, England is coming and I have a month and a half to work again.
What were your thoughts when the team was being selected?
Whatever reports have gone, have gone from the NCA. I didn't speak to anyone before it. If I was not mentally ready, I would have told the selectors not to pick me.
You have been a live-wire on the field. Is it frustrating not to be at those levels?
No, it wasn't frustrating. I have patience. Patience, my boy, patience. You have shown enough patience in the last year and a half, some more patience!
How is it getting back to eating normal food?
Oh, I enjoy every meal. Araam se khata hoon, maza le kar [I relax and eat, relishing every bit]. Earlier, I used to worry that whatever I eat won't stay in.
So, are you happy?
Yeah, there are no issues with my body. There's no stress on the system. Performance will be good. But I am not worried about performance, you know. It's a huge victory for me just to come back on the field. Just to play for my country again is a huge thing for me.
You are doing a lot of other work, too—taking time out for your cancer charity, book, documentary.
The way I was hit by cancer, I wanted to do something for people with the same issue. We set up YouWeCan in association with LIVESTRONG. Hopefully, we can do a lot of good stuff—raise money, try to get detection centres in small towns. Detecting cancer on time is important. It's very important that people go to my web site and sponsor detections. It's only about Rs 300-Rs 500 per detection. Just try to save a lot of lives, remove the stigma of cancer, increase awareness. A lot of people think cancer is equal to death. They need to understand what cancer is.... If you are in a stage where you can survive, you need to work towards survival, not denial.
One and a half years out of cricket. Do you expect things to have changed a lot?
Yeah, big time. All these 12 years, I thought about performance—will I make runs tomorrow, if I don't what will happen, what will happen to my Test career? I won't have these issues any more. I am just happy, and thankful to God I have another life— a second chance. I'll be just happy to go and play. No expectations from myself. I have won the biggest battle of my life.