Simone Biles has said that she should have quit gymnastics “way before Tokyo” Olympics, where she ended up withdrawing from five of her six events.
Biles was the favourite to win an unprecedented six gold medals at a single Olympics but after her first vault on the fifth day of the competition, she withdrew from several other events citing a case of the “twisties”, a dangerous mental block that gymnasts face when they lose muscle memory.
Now, in an interview with The Cut—a New York Magazine website—Biles says she struggled with anxiety immediately on arriving in Tokyo.
“If you looked at everything I’ve gone through for the past seven years, I should have never made another Olympic team,” said Biles.
“I should have quit way before Tokyo.”
Biles was referring to the sexual abuse she had faced from former US gymastics doctor Larry Nassar and the subsequent cover-up attempts by the national body.
She eventually spoke out about the abuse in 2018. Nassar is now serving a life sentence in jail.
“I was not going to let him take something I’ve worked for since I was six years old. I wasn’t going to let him take that joy away from me. So I pushed past that for as long as my mind and my body would let me,” said Biles.
Describing the twisties that she suffered, Biles said it was “basically life or death”.
“It's so dangerous, it’s basically life or death. It’s a miracle I landed on my feet.,” she said.
“If that was any other person, they would have gone out on a stretcher. As soon as I landed that vault, I went and told my coach: 'I cannot continue.'”
The 24-year-old went for therapy before the Olympics, where she learned coping mechanisms. She returned to therapy after the Games and has said she is unsure if she will ever compete again.
Biles has won a combined total of 32 Olympic and World Championship medals, making her the most decorated gymnast of all time.