Neeta Bisht was in the hospitality industry when she met Lieutenant Amit Deswal in 2006. He had just graduated from the Indian Military Academy, Dehradun, and she was a local resident. After a three-year courtship, they decided to get married. But, Neeta was a Pahari Thakur and Amit a Jat from Jhajjar district, Haryana. Caste initially created resistance from the families. However, the couple persisted and won the families over.
Neeta, whose father served in the Assam Rifles, took to the life of an Army wife with ease. On Amit’s persuasion, she started running and focusing more on her fitness. In January 2011, Amit joined the elite 21 Para (Special Forces) unit. He had the distinction of being designated as “commando dagger”—the best candidate in a Ghatak commando course. In January 2016, he was posted to Manipur and saw action in Operation Hifazat II.
In April 2016, Major Amit was martyred in an operation against Naga insurgents. He had led an assault team to search for insurgents, after being tipped off about their presence in dense forests around 30km off National Highway 36. After the team located the insurgents, both sides exchanged fire. Amit killed an insurgent and seized his AK-47; the others fled into the forest. The team continued to track the insurgents and found them again on the evening of the same day. As his team engaged them, Amit led from the front and was shot twice, fatally.
Even while trying to cope with the loss of her husband, Neeta’s bond with the Army remained intact. Though the Haryana government offered her a job, she preferred the tough Army life. Just two months after Amit’s death, Neeta moved to Delhi to prepare to join the Army. The Army provided housing, and was her extended family in the capital.
Within six months of Amit’s death, Neeta was recommended for the short service commission (non-tech) course by the Army’s Services Selection Board, Bhopal. She was first on the merit list. She entered the Officers Training Academy, Chennai, aged 34. There, Neeta had to compete with cadets much younger than her. But, she welcomed the physical challenge, as, if she were at home, the fight would have been against emotions and trauma. She joined the Army in 2018, after completing the rigorous 11-month training.
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Her family and friends describe her as a charming and lovable person, who is also strong enough to take on the challenges in life. Rajender Singh Bisht, her younger brother, said the family never imagined she would join the Army. “She was influenced by the disciplined and dedicated life of the military,” Rajender told THE WEEK. “She wanted to carry forward the legacy of her husband and we supported her in the decision. Now, we all feel proud of her because of the way she overcame the trauma and joined the Army, while raising a child.” Being away from her son, Arjun, was tough; he was only three when she joined OTA.
She says the pain of Amit’s death will never go away. But, she does not want her son to see her as a weak woman. “She has to step up for him (her son),” said Rajender. When she was in the academy, Neeta hardly got time to speak to Arjun—once in four or five days, and for a few minutes. But, her parents looked after him.
Neeta says her OTA life changed her approach to handling situations, among other things. Adrija Sen, a close friend of hers, said that she had always seen Neeta with long hair. “But, when I met her during her academy days, she was totally different—short hair, broken hand (sustained during a judo match in the academy),” said Adrija. “When I shook her hand, it was rough, hard.” Adrija recalled that Neeta said, “‘Di, bring kajal for me; they do not allow it in the academy. I look like a boy. Your hands are so soft, look at mine.’”
Neeta is currently posted with the Ordnance Corps in Dehradun. She is balancing her job and raising Arjun, who is also keen on the Army. Neeta’s family said that the nine-year-old is learning horse-riding, knows everything about the Army and keen to join the special forces unit his father served in.
The article is based on conversation with the officer's family and friends.