'There were times when I really wanted to give up': Manu Bhaker

Interview/ Manu Bhaker, double Olympic bronze-winning shooter

Q. How did you feel when you won the two bronze medals in Paris?

A/ When I got the first medal, I was confused if I should be happy I got the bronze medal for India, or if I should be sad I missed the fight for gold by 0.1. But then I thought it’s better to smile and accept it, and focus on the next event. The second one, yes, I was very happy because it was either you win bronze or you lose (there are separate bronze and gold medal matches in the team events).

Q/ How did you feel when you missed the hat-trick?

A/ For the 25m [pistol] event, we had really worked hard and were positive. I was definitely expecting a medal, but you never know how things turn out.

Q/ From heartbreak in Tokyo 2020 to history in Paris 2024, how did you keep yourself motivated?

A/ Keeping yourself motivated when you are in a low phase can be challenging. There were times when I really wanted to give up. I was so tired of doing the same thing every day. I had all these thoughts: negative, positive, everything in my head. But I just kept reminding myself, “Slow and steady wins the race. Just keep going through. Just for one more cycle, just till the Paris Olympics, just give it your best. And when you look back after Paris is over, you do not want to regret anything.”

Then I met Jaspal sir again and we started to work together. That was also the time he was very confident in me. I was also able to feel that confidence within me coming back. My mom was a pillar of strength for me these three years. She has gone through everything with me. She was with me in almost every domestic match. She was there when I was not doing well. She was there when I performed brilliantly.

Q/ What did you do in those three years to make yourself stronger from inside? You not winning in Tokyo was a surprise.

A/ If you look at the pictures and videos from Tokyo, you will see I was scared and in a defensive mode. My coach changed that. He made me more confident. Second, I became more patient. Earlier, I was quite impulsive and I would react at different things. I would cry. I would be angry when a match would not go my way. That changed. If I lose a match now, I’ll be patient and calm. I have learned to accept it and move on.

Whenever there is a competition, I’ll just go in with a positive approach. As soon as the match concludes, I analyse it and see what worked for me and what did not. I write down everything and discuss with my coach, and then we plan accordingly.

Q/ You got a call from Prime Minister Narendra Modi and even met him after returning to India.

A/ The personal interaction was more a one-on-one conversation. He asked me, “How is your training going? If you need anything, just let me know.” He asked questions about training methods, about how my approach was in the Olympics. With other athletes also, he had this candid [way of talking], like friends do. So that equation makes every person comfortable. That helped us gain more confidence. [He asked me about] my home because he knows my mom; he has met her once.

Q/ How do you find him as a person?

A/ He is humble and open. You can have a conversation with him. He’s mindful of what he talks about. One thing I really like is that he is well-prepared. He has all the information about who has achieved what and how their journey has been. That [leads to] comfort between him and an athlete.

Q/ Did you get any special tips from him?

A/ His tip was to be consistent. To me, he said, “You’re only 22, so you will have a long career. Just be consistent and focus on your sport.”

Q/ Do you have any message for the government in terms of what it can do to improve sports facilities in India?

A/ As I understand it, [we can have better] skill development [programmes] at the grassroots level where we assess our children. [We must] teach them different sports and activities from a young age. That will improve their mental ability and learning power. If we see other sporting countries, [children] start early and get expert guidance. We should also have this kind of structure. We definitely don’t have any shortage of talent. I am sure we can quickly cultivate our young talent and be good at the international level.

Q/ How was the Games village in Paris? There was no air-conditioning there because it was a green event.

A/ My heat tolerance is good. In Paris, I didn’t have an issue with the heat. Then we got ACs as well (the Indian government had them installed) and the room was also sorted. During the day, it was chilly.

Regarding food, I am a vegetarian. In the initial two to three years of my career, I used to have issues with food. Now I can adjust with everything, be it weather or food or people. It comes with experience. I was enjoying my time [at the Games village]. We used to work out and I used to walk back to my room with my coach because most of the time we missed the bus. I have only good memories.

Q/ You stunned Olympian Heena Sidhu in the 10m air pistol final at the 2017 national shooting championships in Kerala. Was that when you decided to stick with shooting?

A/ When you talk about shooters like Heena didi, they are the best India has ever seen. It’s not just about performance, but also how they’ve carried themselves and delivered at various levels for India.

[For me] no, that was not the time when I was like, okay, this is it for me. Even in 2018, when I won gold at the Commonwealth Games (10m air pistol), I wasn’t sure if I’ll be able to stick with the sport. It was more like, let’s see where it takes me. Just keep doing the hard work and let’s see how it goes.

Q/ Tell us about your village and your days growing up.

A/ I lived in a small village called Goria in Haryana’s Jhajjar district till I was seven. Our joint family used to stay there. We used to celebrate Holi and Diwali together. Otherwise, I spent most of my time with Mom. She was strict about my homework because she was a teacher. I used to have a good time with my cousins who are close to my age. Then we moved to Bhiwani where we stayed for one-and-a-half years, and then to Dadri where we stayed for six to seven years. My mom is from Kalali village next to Dadri. We have stayed at different places but I mostly spent my childhood with Mom and my brother. My father is in the merchant navy so he hardly stayed at home. I was active and was trying new sports and finding academies to learn new things.

Q/ You were a naughty child and your grandmother was your shield. Tell us about your relationship with her.

A/ I was not naughty, okay (chuckles). But if someone disturbed me, I used to hit them back. I don’t like bullying. So, yes, fights used to happen. Otherwise, there were no complaints about me. If I got low marks, I used to hide it from my mom.

I used to go to the fields or to a neighbour’s home with my paternal grandmother. I used to complain to her if someone bothered me and asked her to teach them a lesson. My maternal grandmother used to stitch clothes for me. I have spent a lot of time during holidays with her. I have very good memories with both my grandmothers.

Q/ You studied in a school that was founded by your grandfather Raj Karan. Did you get any extra attention because of him?

A/ Oh please! I’ll tell you very honestly (smiles). It’s a small family school in Goria and I had started sports in second or third class. There were teachers who used to say, “If you do not study properly, we will inform [your parents].” That fear was there. I was bullied a lot. They would say, “Since the school is owned by your parents, you will sit on the first bench for sure.” I also used to get punished unnecessarily so that other students don’t feel bad.

There used to be a lot of verbal bullying because I am a girl. I didn’t understand that it was bullying back then, but now I realise it. That was also the reason my love for martial arts and boxing grew. I wanted to be stronger and beat [my bullies].

When I was in 9th or 10th, I used to tell teachers when I [was punished] for getting poor marks that I had been away for some competitions and could not attend classes. [I told them,] “Rather than punishing me, you should help me.” That was when I started speaking for myself. I told them that they can’t shout at me or beat me unnecessarily.

Q/ What was your favourite subject and who was your favourite teacher?

A/ Science with Girish Kumar sir. I never liked maths. Both my languages, English and Hindi, were good. After a point, when I had to choose between physics, chemistry and biology, [I chose] the third one. But then I could not cope with sports and studies [together]. So, I gave up science in class 12. It was 2018. It was a great time in my career and I was travelling a lot for back-to-back camps and competitions. I could not give much time to studies. I changed my stream and political science became my major subject.

Q/ Do you want to join politics in future?

A/ Not really. I wanted to become a doctor. But because of circumstances, I switched to arts. I did my bachelors in political science from Lady Shri Ram College. Right now, I am taking a public administration course from DAV college in Chandigarh. I never planned anything in life. I just try to do everything that comes my way, efficiently. The only plan I have for the future is to be able to bring medals for my country.

Q/ Tell us about your equation with Jaspal Rana.

A/ It’s a little difficult to understand him properly. But once you start understanding him, it becomes easier to follow his mindset, thinking and approach. He is strict when it comes to sports, discipline and lifestyle. I am happy to say that [his methods] work for me. He is like a father figure to me. He is the kind of person from whom I can take life advice and share things with.

Q/ How did Usain Bolt’s biography and M.C. Mary Kom’s biopic inspire you?

A/ Their spirit of never giving up. If you have read their stories or seen the movie, [you would know] how much failure and struggle they had in their lives. Only after that did they become champions. Their life story is inspiring for me. I watched the movie Mary Kom in 2014 [when I was 12]. I realised how much you have to work to succeed in life. I read Usain Bolt only last year when I was lacking in motivation. He is a person who set goals for himself and achieved them.

Q/ You find inspiration in sports…

A/ I derive inspiration from different events, people and elements. For example, our para-athletes, who had an accident, recovered and decided to become athletes. Despite so many problems in their lives, they win medals for the country. I read stories of people who have built businesses worth millions of dollars from scratch or someone who has become a CEO or a world champion after a serious accident. These stories inspire me.

Q/ Breathing plays a key role in shooting. Tell us about your breathing technique and how it helps you in shooting.

A/ In shooting, physical strength and endurance are needed, but it is more of a mental sport. To keep myself calm, I follow the 4:8 breathing method―inhaling for four seconds and then exhaling for eight. This method helps me avoid nervousness and stay relaxed.

Q/ You have said that the Gita helps you overcome difficult situations. When did you start reading it?

A/ The Gita can help you a lot, be it morally or for advice in day-to-day life. If you actually want to learn something, read it carefully. [You shouldn’t read it] just for the sake of it or in one go. Read one shloka daily and eventually it will reflect in you.

Q/ Any shloka in particular that has helped you?

A/ As a shooter, I always remind myself, “Do your work, don’t think about the result.” My mom, being a Sanskrit teacher, taught me this. She was the one who introduced me to the Gita and she used to recite the meanings of the shlokas.

Q/ You are in your early 20s. Do you miss having fun with friends and parties?

A/ No. Either you party now and work for the rest of your life or you work now and enjoy the rest of your life with your family. I am a person who believes in the now. So, I will invest all my energy and resources in the present.

Q/ Did you like the style of Yusuf Dikec, the Turkish shooter who went viral?

A/ His posture is not different from any shooter. He won the silver and he had to work hard for it. But about his style, even in India a lot of people practise like that. People don’t realise that on social media.

Q/ How do you deal with negativity on social media?

A/ I try to keep myself away from social media controversies. I don’t want to fight with anyone unnecessarily on social media. Talking about criticism, cyber bullying can affect a person in a negative way. People should be mindful of what they say. Everything should be balanced. Extremism must be avoided.

Q/ Do you believe in God? Are you superstitious like your mother who doesn’t watch your events live?

A/ Yes, I do believe in God. I do not know what shape, size, colour or material God exists in. But I believe some energy and power exist in the universe that monitor everyone’s karma. I love lord Krishna and Hanuman ji.

Q/ We’ve been told that you love solving puzzles.

A/ I enjoy it a lot. Whenever I get time, I do it. It’s a good stress-buster. The best thing is that when you are solving a puzzle, you are not able to do anything else and you have to totally focus on it. I really enjoy that.

Q/ Do you still hang out with your school friends?

A/ I do not have many friends from school and college. One close friend from school is Anjali Phogat, who is a doctor. I had a friend in college named Muskan, who helped me with the syllabus and assignments. I am still in touch with them. I have two best friends: Anshika Satendra from shooting and Super (Supratik) who is my neighbour. We met through our dogs.

Q/ You were on a break from competition for a few weeks. How did you spend that time?

A/ I was on a three-month break. I tried to attend as many events as possible because I wouldn’t get time later because of training.

Q/ We were told that you love to sleep a lot?

A/ Firstly, who told you (chuckles)? Every athlete loves to sleep and eat because these are good for your recovery, and mental and physical health. I can sleep while travelling, standing in a train, basically anytime, anywhere.

Q/ How do you react to the violence that happens against women in India? Did you feel bad when fellow Olympians were protesting on the streets of Delhi?

A/ It’s definitely not good. Being a woman, I also feel unsafe. I am 22 and still my family doesn’t allow me to travel alone. The culprits are within the society but people always blame women. Of course, I felt bad when my fellow athletes were protesting in Delhi. If someone has got to the point that they are protesting on the streets, then something must have happened. Nobody wants to leave their training for protests. In our society, people worship goddesses such as Durga and Kali, but still women are disrespected.

Q/ Are you enjoying the stardom or does it overwhelm you?

A/ It’s not overwhelming. I first got the limelight when I was 16. I became Commonwealth champion. I got a lot of attention so I have become good at it. I know how to maintain balance in professional and social life. I do enjoy it, but sometimes it is tiring, too.