Illustration: Job P.K.
It was in the parking lot of Star India’s office in Mumbai that I first met Irrfan Khan. His film Jazbaa (2015) was about to release. As he walked with me to the green room, he enquired about my work. I was both intimidated and humbled that someone of his repute was interested in what an executive producer of a chat show does.
But that was how he was. Akarsh Khurana, who directed him in Karwaan (2018), remembers being intimidated by his achievements. “But he started engaging with all of us and made us all very comfortable. He had this great ability to have conversations with anyone on the set,” said Khurana , recalling how Irrfan was interested in learning from the young Mithila Palkar about how the digital media works.. “I have realised fame and money are not the answer to happiness, engagement is,” Irrfan told THE WEEK in 2017, ahead of the release of Qarib Qarib Singlle.
The wide-eyed actor, who breathed his last on April 29 after being hospitalised for a colon infection the previous day, had been battling neuroendocrine cancer for almost two years. He enjoyed success in a range of films, be it art-house or commercial, even making a name for himself in Hollywood. For the National School of Drama graduate, the road to success was not easy.
Irrfan often mentioned how he thought he was not good enough to become a hero. But he drew inspiration from watching Mithun Chakraborty in Mrigayaa (1976). It took a while for the industry to recognise his talent, but not before he slaved it out for years in television.
Irrfan would say that he is made of his experiences. And that is what he wanted for his sons, Babil and Ayan, too. During the making of QQS, he pushed his elder son to take a gap year and be an assistant in the cinematography department. “It was my way of telling him to explore whatever he wanted, and come to his own understanding of things,” Irrfan told me. “See what interests you, instead of worrying about the results or the monetary gains. Find your voice.”
In the last few years, the actor started enjoying a variety of roles, breaking the image of the serious actor that he built. In the 2017 interview, Irrfan said he had pondered about the years he had spent acting. “I had got fame, I had got money, but it did not serve me well,” he said. “I had started thinking what I would do with all of it.”
The pleasure for him was in exploring aspects of the unexplored life. Irrfan’s last film, Angrezi Medium, saw him as the owner of a sweet shop in Jodhpur. It was shot while he was undergoing treatment for cancer. Homi Adajania, the director, told me: “It was overwhelming, but I embraced the whole thing. With Irrfan, his resilient spirit, his mastery over his craft... it was just very inspiring. His attitude to life just showed me a lighter way of being.”